Whether you have been married only a short time or for fifty years, keeping your love alive and vibrant is an on going challenge. With a about half of all marriages ending in divorce, it is clear that many are in need of relationship help. In discussing love and marriage, the perspective dealt with in this article is meeting your partners needs and conversely, getting him or her to meet yours. And, what about the things that destroy love? Dr. Willard Harley, Jr. calls them “Love Busters” in his book by that name.
HIS NEEDS, HER NEEDS
What do you need? What does your partner need? A difficult question at best. Often people do not know how to identify their needs or how to communicate them.. They also fail to realize that men and women organize their needs differently. To complicate matters further, when you ask them what they want, couples are often unable to define it clearly. Dr. Harley does a great job of defining husband and wife needs based on years of sound survey practices done while practicing marital counseling.. He wrote the book His Needs, Her Needs.
THE IMPORTANCE OF ROMANTIC LOVE
In Dr. Harley’s books, he illustrates the ways that men and women experience romantic love and what it takes to regain it when it is lost. He reports that as he learned these truths, the effectiveness of his marital counseling increased dramatically as he witnessed couple after couple regain the spark of love necessary to draw them together and assist them to succeed in their marriages.
Dr. Harley focuses on romantic love and its importance for the health and happiness of the marriage. The reason I promote the reading of both of his books is that all too often, people sabotage their efforts to regain love with behaviors that counteract the good they have done. Often it is not enough to start doing the right things! It is equally important to stop doing the wrong ones!
For those folks who do not like to read books, Dr. Harley and his family have built a magnificent resource in their website, marriagebuilders.com! It is loaded with tremendously helpful information you can use to strengthen an already good relationship or save one that is on the rocks!